I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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