Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
sex in a hospital.. check
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
