well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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