Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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