you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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