@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
