I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
