she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
