i'm signing you up for texting rehab
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
