he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
