Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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