i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
