Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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