I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
