I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
