I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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