So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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