I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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