yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
