We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
