I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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