So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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