i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All the doctor said was why
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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