i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
