Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
