If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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