after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
