I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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