2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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