I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
