I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize