is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
