Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
