you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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