And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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