My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
