Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
