As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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