Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
