I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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