i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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