we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
