I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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