brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
