It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
