Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sarcasm needs its own font
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize