I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
