I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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