Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
