is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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