Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
