Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
