There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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