that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
whose parrot is this?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize