arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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