i just wanna soil my oats bro
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
dude. I can hear the air.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize