this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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