5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
so much tequila, so little girl.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
