I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
