i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
