"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
