If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
