But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
