I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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