I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
