I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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