I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
