SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
