I love having hate sex.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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