I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize