My liver just broke up with me...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
