We're like a lot better than the average bears
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
