eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
