you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
