It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
