i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
